Sing in Your Natural Voice, the best advice I ever received

Sing in your natural voice, a phrase I would hear from every mentor, voice teacher, or music educator who has taught me music or how to sing. And I would say, "I am" in a light, high-pitched, breathy tone that would fade after about 5 minutes. The teacher would always see right through me and immediately begin to correct my sound. The lesson would end with the teacher telling me to be myself and to sound as natural as possible because I had a great voice. After hearing this, I always thought, "Of course, you'd say I have a good voice; you're a teacher!" It wasn't until recently that I started to believe I had a good voice and needed to understand how to use it because singing is an art and a skill. One teacher said something to me that inspired me to find my voice and embrace who I am. During our lesson, I expressed my admiration for Amy Winehouse and kept singing with the throaty, nasally sound Winehouse does on all of her records. Suddenly she stopped me mid-sentence and said, "Amy Winehouse sings like an 80-year-old woman! Forget about Amy Winehouse and find your voice. Find Chanelmarie" At that moment, I had a sudden realization and rewrote ( later on) one of my songs ( My Little Guitar Boy) in a lower key ( or at least attempted it.). I didn't want to be an 80-year-old woman.

Growing up, I never liked the sound of my voice. I always felt it didn't fit who I was or wanted to be. My style was feminine, light, and dreamy, but my voice was deep, lifeless, and sat at the bottom of my throat. My voice sounded slightly masculine and dull even though I didn't sound like a boy and still don't. I always associated high and breathy voices as feminine and low as masculine. I hated hearing my voice play back to me after I recorded because a part of me would think, "I don't sound as good as I thought," which would crush me. I had a miniature identity crisis, trying different accents, tones, and dialects. I wanted to be "cool" ( whatever that means) and enjoyable. I wanted people to be intrigued by me because I was always the girl that people would forget about; friends, teachers, classmates, and sometimes my parents! They would all forget about me. Listen, this isn't a woe-is-me type thing, and I am not trying to cry wolf. I already did my self-help homework, and I passed with flying colors! I want to leave my personal mark on this world and let everyone know that I was here.

Everyone who knew me as a child knew I adored Mariah Carey. Her youthful yet feminine and high-pitched voice stole my heart, and I wanted to be her. I wanted my voice to roar as fiercely as her voice did in her hit songs, Emotions, and Fantasy. I was envious ( in a good way) of her clean and crisp tone that danced on your eardrums as she serenaded you through your headphones. Each note she sang gave you goosebumps, and you would immediately become addicted to her catalog; I wanted that for myself. I would spend my days trying to emulate her beautiful tone to be considered a good singer; I wanted a ubiquitous sound to guarantee that people would enjoy my singing. Doing this has resulted in me developing a disdain for my natural voice. Now, I am on a journey to develop what is naturally mine, and love the sound that I can produce with my voice.

Mariah Carey and Joss Stone are among the many female vocalists I admire. Carey and Stone have beautiful high voices, but Stone has a soulful twang to her sound, and Carey has a rich, clean tone. Each singer has qualities I want to implement into my style, but it started getting confusing because I felt I had to change my voice to fit a song I was singing; my voice was all over the place. One minute I sang with a soulful twang; the next, I sang high and mighty, depending on the song. My voice was never consistent, and this is because I tried to be like my favorite artists instead of developing my natural tone of voice. After hearing the same feedback repeatedly, I realized it was okay to be influenced by others, but I should not let this define me or my sound; instead, I should take bits and pieces of what I like and make it my own.

After hearing my teacher's remarks about Amy Winehouse ( I still love Amy and always will), it changed my perspective on my voice. I started to listen to vocalists that naturally had a similar voice to me; Sade, Kelis, Sarah Vaughn, and sometimes Beyonce ( when she sang low). My goal isn't to be a copy-paste version of each artist but to be inspired that female vocalists with a lower register can make beautiful music too.

Rewriting an original song in my natural voice was a challenging task I knew I had to endure. I loved how I originally sang My Little Guitar Boy, and I plan to keep that version in my back pocket; but last weekend, I decided to rewrite the song to fit my lower register. I sat at the piano and sang notes that felt good to my voice, anywhere from F3 to C5, although C5 may have been pushing it. Singing felt peculiar because I kept questioning whether or not the melody sounded good; I had nothing to compare it to. I was just being myself vocally. I tried to keep my breath supported, my larynx neutral, and my chest up, all technical aspects of singing I learned from my voice teacher. Each note I sang made me scrunch my face, mortified by the lack of beauty in my voice. That is how I felt at the moment, but once I heard it played back to me, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I realized I needed to practice singing this way instead of trying to be a copy-paste version of my favorite singer.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that phrase can be applied to music. An artist has to find their audience rather than please the world. A Musician is more than just their voice; it's only one aspect of the music she creates. I am more than the sound of my voice; I've got heart, soul, experiences, feelings, and passion. I use my singing and poetic lyrics to convey this artfully. I am Chanelmarie Brooks, Singer, Songwriter, and a badass feminist that uses my vocal abilities to be unapologetic and poetically provocative. And most important, to be true to myself.