My First Open Mic: How I Overcame Stage Fright and Found My Voice!

As I drove into the parking lot of the Flava Café, my nerves immediately began to take over me. An erratic heartbeat, racing thoughts, and trembling hands encapsulated my body and mind, and everything felt surreal. I was so overzealous yet anxious that I felt like a reality TV mess. This open mic was the first time I could perform for an audience and meet new people. It was at a community coffee shop, where I felt safe and was familiar with the venue. I'd spent years envisioning myself performing for a live audience. For so long, I was a bedroom singer, the girl who hid behind her computer, uploading short videos of herself singing in acapella. I did that for a few years, only to find myself where I started. This year, I wanted to change that, develop my stage presence, and, most importantly, catch a music career!

When I entered the café, the host greeted me with a warm welcome while my nerves fell into the room. I scribbled my name on the call sheet and told her it was my first time performing in a live, in-person open mic. Excitement and empathy began to bloom on the host's face. She comforted me with a glass of water and words of encouragement. Her kindness made me feel like I belonged to a community ( something I have always desired), and I could safely share my song.

I sat on a stylish brown sofa, took some cute selfies, and looked around, only to find that I was the first person to arrive other than the host and the featured artist. I am not used to socializing with new people, so I sat quietly and rehearsed my song in my head. I wasn't trying to come off cold; I was just shy. The open mic was scheduled to start at 6:00 p.m., and I arrived at 5:40 p.m! I know my skin folks like to run on color people time, but your girl over here is running on MSP (Minneapolis) Central Standard Time! This is just how I was raised. LOL. No tea or shade. Seriously. All fun. Even though I was a ball of nerves, I was happy to make progress in my musical journey. I wanted to be on stage singing. I had so many questions flowing through my mind because I wasn't sure how the audience would react to me singing in acapella. My biggest fear was being booed off the stage or people laughing at me. I do not know where this fear originated because it has never happened to me.

Fast Forward to 6:30 p.m., and the show was about to begin; the host and open mic coordinator recited their poems, and then it was time for the acts on the call sheet. I sat at the edge of my seat because I wasn't sure if I would be called first or third. I signed up for the 3rd slot but wondered if any other performer had signed up for a place ahead of me. Before I could think about it, the host began to say, "Please give a warm welcome to our first performer; it is her first time performing at an open mic! Please welcome Chanelmarie Brooks!" The audience fiercely cheered and hollered.

Oh shit, I thought to myself. Is that me? Yes, idiot, that's you!! There was no turning back. They all knew my name and saw me stand up and walk up to the stage. If I backed out now, I would be failing myself. I wanted to break the mold of being the girl who uploaded short singing videos in acapella, so I needed to get my ass up on stage and sing like the rent was due yesterday.

When I reached the mic, I had a massive smile on my face to conceal the hot mess lurking inside me. On the outside, I was endearing and confident. Still, inside, I was vomiting like an intoxicated girl on a Saturday night, as portrayed in the movies. When I approached the mic, my eyes darted from left to right to take in the feeling of having a crowd of people give me their full attention. It felt awkward because, for so long, I was sheltered and had to keep my musical journey on the low, and I wasn't used to having that much attention. I wasn't allowed to be that artist who lived inside me genuinely. But now, on stage, I could exude the creative energy I've longed to share with the world.

"Hi. My name is Chanelmarie Brooks, and this is my first time performing at an open mic. I want to leave my shell this year and engage with my community, so I am starting to put myself out there. Today, I will perform my original song, My Little Guitar Boy!"

And then silence was bestowed upon us as if the universe told me it was my time to shine. I stared at the audience, and the audience stared back at me with a blank expression. My eyes darted from left to right to take in the audience galore. I left everything to God, took a breath, and sang my song.

The notes sprang out of my mouth one by one, and I was immediately lost in the song that I almost forgot that I was singing to an audience. My body began to relax, and my soul began to calm. It felt like I was singing to myself in my room ( that is when I am most comfortable). I genuinely smiled to exude the happiness that danced in my body while performing. I went from being the drunk girl on a Saturday night to a flower that sambaed in the wind. I didn't think about technique, the lyrics, how I looked, or if people were laughing at me ( they weren't, but that was one of my biggest fears). I felt proud of myself for taking a chance and not letting my irrational fears take control of my destiny. Everyone was super supportive and positive; I never knew that kindness could exist at this level.

After my performance, I felt a sense of relief, happiness, and joy! I wanted to go back on stage for an encore because that moment made me realize this was my career path. I finally overcame my fear of performing in front of people and found my voice. I wasn't trying to mimic my favorite artist or sound like something unlike myself. It was just me, my original song, and my natural sound. When I returned to my seat, a gentleman fist-bumped me in a congratulatory manner and uttered "good job" to me. Girl, I know I did that, and I wanted to do it again.

Final Thoughts

I received positive feedback, and the audience enjoyed my song. Before performing in front of others, I thought I wasn't good enough to become a professional singer and needed to spend more time alone practicing. In the past, I would tell my Instagram that I was always practicing ( I really was) because I didn't want my audience to think I gave up or wasn't trying to pursue music. Practicing is essential, but putting yourself out there and showing your journey to the world is even better. People will be more invested in your journey when they can see your growth. This is why I started documenting my journey to becoming a professional singer. It's an arduous journey. I'm a young adult with a full-time job (yes, I have a big girl job!) and responsibilities. I can't just pick up and leave or spend much money on lessons, studio time, or music videos, but I will not give up on myself. This means I have to think outside of the box. My family thinks it's ridiculous that I want to be a singer, but I know I have what it takes to succeed. I have so much creativity lingering inside me that the music keeps calling my name. I plan on attending many more open mics and improving as a singer! This is my nontraditional journey to jazz.

xoxo

Chanelmarie Brooks